Divorce is never an easy thing–even for the parents going through it. The entire process can be draining– physically, emotionally, and mentally — for the entire family, especially your children.
The Root Cause
According to research, most kids suffer for a short time after the separation. However, they get more affected by feeling torn between their parents.
Experts also seeing their parents fight or argue in front of them is one of the most traumatic experiences, despite never being directly involved in it. They can feel the tension around the house and affect their behavior and personality.
Most of the time, young children would show both mental and physical signs of stress due to their parents’ divorce. It can be hard for them to concentrate on school and things they used to love. They may even feel physical pain, such as pain in the stomach and feeling nauseated.
How to Help Children Cope with their Parent’s Divorce
There are several ways to help children cope with your divorce. Although it doesn’t remove all the stress and anxiety, which is normal, it helps them better come to terms with what’s happening in the family.
As parents, it is your responsibility to explain what’s happening. Talk with your spouse and agree on how you will explain what’s happening. It’s also incredibly important that both of you talk to your children at the same time.
1. Explain what’s happening to them.
Many parents tend to hide their divorce from their kids until the last minute. But that is not healthy. The kids will feel confused and terrified.
It’s easier if everyone is involved in the whole process. As soon as you find a divorce attorney in Utah or you’re planning to pursue filing a divorce, explain it to the children. Make it as straightforward as possible.
Many parents underestimate their children’s capacity to understand. But the truth is, once you explain it to them, they would understand better.
Most of all, avoid talking bad about the other parent or any other individual.
2. Reassure them of your love.
It is a common reaction for the children to feel like they are the cause of the divorce. They might begin thinking you don’t love them anymore. Regardless of whether they mention it or not, reassure them that both of you love them.
That also means you need to make them understand that they will be living with each of you for certain days of the week. Make sure you explain the situation to them and how it will work.
For younger kids, you can use toys to explain the situation much better.
3. Encourage talking about emotions.
You need to know what your children feel so you can talk to them about it. It’s best to let them understand that it’s natural to feel things and that they can speak to you about it. Encourage them to have ongoing conversations with you and your spouse.
You might also want to check in on them every once in a while.
Creating a life together is not always the easiest thing, and sometimes, it doesn’t work. If divorce is inevitable, work on it as a family to guarantee the kids can better understand the situation and avoid possible issues in the future.